


The Light Behind Your Eyes

by zzhenykaa



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dad AU, Dad Jschlatt is absolutely the best, Dead Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Ghost Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Goat Hybrid Toby Smith | Tubbo, Hybrid Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Hybrid Toby Smith | Tubbo, I have a shit dad so let me be happy <3, Jschlatt Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Misgendering, Schlatt is Tubbo's dad, Suicidal Thoughts, Toby Smith | Tubbo Deserves Better, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Toby Smith | Tubbo, accidental misgendering, ill add on tags as the story goes on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:01:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29108250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zzhenykaa/pseuds/zzhenykaa
Summary: TW: ALCOHOLISM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, MISGENDERINGTubbo finds out Schlatt is his dad and accidentally confronts his father's ghost lolorTubbo has SERIOUS daddy issues (I cant take myself seriously sorry)Title from The Light Behind Your Eyes by My Chemical Romance
Relationships: Jschlatt & Toby Smith | Tubbo
Comments: 3
Kudos: 80





	1. День Отца / Father's Day

**Author's Note:**

> Ill try to update every couple of days, so yeah :)  
> ill also be adding tags as I go since I have a very basic plan of what's gonna happen in the fic but yeah, ill put trigger warnings in the beginning of each chapter and if there's a trigger you want me to add please comment about it!  
> I hope you enjoy reading this fic <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Suicidal thoughts
> 
> title from Father's Day by Schenki (I fuhking beg you to listen to the song and find the translated lyrics its so goooood)

Tubbo focused on the clinking of his shoes against the road leading to his... his _father's grave._ Tubbo didn't want to focus on the fact that he managed to find out who his dad was only after he disappeared from... well, from being alive. So he shook his head and just focused on the soft clinking. 

Ignoring doesn't work for long though, because eventually the road ends, and the short goat hybrid comes face to face with his _dad's_ gravestone. 

He stared down at the tyrant's name carved into the smooth stone, fidgeting with the bouquet of flowers he held in his hand.

He didn't tell anyone where he went. Quackity is probably fuming right now, because _he has president things to do and responsibilities_ and other things his cabinet tells him everyday. He feels so tired and... _exhausted_. He just wants to be having fun and running around wheat fields with Tommy and not exiling his _best friend_.

Tubbo lets out a sad chuckle.

Its quite funny how they made _him_ the president. He is only 17 years old. _He_ is still a _kid._

A kid, who was fought in wars for as long as he can remember. A kid, who still cries himself to sleep, because anytime he closes his eyes, all he sees is _nightmares._ A kid, who has a huge scar across his chest and only one life left to live. A life he doesn't even think he wants to live anymore. A kid, who grew up without knowing who his real father was, only to find out who his dad was when he was seconds away from death.

In conclusion, he was just a kid.

He, himself, doesn't know why he decided to visit _his_ grave. It's not like he was emotionally attached to the man. In fact, this man ordered the boy's execution, so he must _hate him_.

But here he is.

Bringing flowers to his father's grave.

The hybrid sat down in front of the grave and set down the flowers in front of his knees.

' Hi, mr. President umm... I should probably call you dad now, right? ' He felt stupid ' I've ughh never spoken to a grave so this is quite weird ' he softly chuckled as he played with the grass under his legs.

' I don't really know why im here actually, it's really not like I _love_ you. You practically ruined my life, ughh, _dad_ , so I really shouldn't be coming here on Father's day ' he sighed ' but, alas, im here. '

He shifted.

' I guess, I just wanted to know umm ' he took in a deep breath ' why... why did you have to tell me so late? Couldn't have you told me that you're my dad earlier? ' he quietly chuckles as a single tear rolled down his cheek ' You know, I _needed_ you. I-I needed a dad! ' he hugs his knees ' You know how _hard_ it is to live all your life _knowing_ that you're dad just up and left you in a box? A fun story to tell, but I was- I was so _scared_ , dad... ' he wipes at his eyes ' I'm crying now, how pathetic, huh? '

He sits in silence for a moment as he tries to calm down his breathing.

' I just- I just want to _know_ , dad. ' the boy shifts once again and lifts his head to look at the grave as if something would've changed. But the gravestone still stands, mocking him.

' You know what? This was stupid, ' the boy rubs at his eyes to try and get rid of all the tears ' I never should've even come here, what did I expect to happen, for you to show up- ' 

' Tubbo? '

The boy was interrupted as he quickly inhaled.

_No._

_It can't be **him.**_

He stopped rubbing his teary eyes as he looked up.

His gaze was met with the one figure he never would've thought he'd ever see again.

' Toby, is that you? '


	2. Mom, Would You Wash My Back This Once?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: alcoholism, abandonment, accidental misgendering
> 
> Title from Class of 2013 by Mitski

Schlatt held onto the partially soaked box as he ran through the rain. The streets were empty, deserted of any form of life, as Schlatt's breath formed clouds in the air. The sound of his shoes clicking on the cobblestone pavement soon morphed into the quiet slush of mud as Schlatt exited the village and entered the deep dark oak forest. 

Schlatt was shaking from the cold and he pulled the box he held in his hands closer to his chest as he sped walked through the forest. It was freezing and he was soaking wet, but _nothing_ will stop him from reaching his destination. He slightly opened the box and looked into the eyes of his baby daughter peacefully sleeping, wrapped up in blankets. She looked just like her father, curly brown hair and deep brown eyes. Schlatt smiled at her as he kissed her forehead and continued walking through the dark.

Eventually the goat hybrid reached his destination - a small cottage in the middle of nowhere. By the end of the almost hour long walk through the forest, he was completely covered in water. Droplets of water slid down his face and throat as he walked up to the front door of the house.

Schlatt had noticed the owner of this cottage a while back in the village, most notable to him were the three kids that always surrounded him. They always seemed so _happy._ Schlatt hoped that Toby will also be happy with them. He gulped as he looked at the door in front of him.

He opened the slightly soaked box and looked at his precious daughter. Tears mixed with rain slid down his face as he smiled at her. _He will do anything to make her happy, even if it means letting her go._

When Schlatt had just found out that the girl he had accidentally knocked up at a random party was pregnant with _his_ child, he was beyond terrified. He was no father?! He was just a guy in his 20s with a slight alcohol consumption problem! He _definitely_ was not prepared to raise a child. But he still found himself standing with the little kid in his arms as the child's mother drove away, never to be seen by him or the kid ever again.

The first feeling Schlatt felt was anger. _Why the fuhk should he care about some little gremlin that happened to share half his dna???_ But then the little gremlin grabbed Schlatt's finger and did the most adorable fuhking thing ever.

It fuhking giggled.

And in that exact moment Schlatt realized he was horribly fuhked.

They lived together and Schlatt was exhausted with being a new found dad, but he really couldn't be happier. The kid brought light to his nights and he stopped drinking, not completely, but he was doing _way_ better than before the kid entered his life. He named his daughter Toby cause _Toby is a fuhking cool ass name and im naming the fuhker whatever I want._

Toby grew on Schlatt and Schlatt was doing his absolute best to be the best dad, so when she grew up, Toby could buy him one of those mugs that said 'World's Best Dad' and he'd saw how stupid it was but his heart would swell with happiness.

But, of course, Schlatt's life was never and will never be perfect, because god can't ever let the poor hybrid dad live in peace.

Schlatt didn't have the best paying job but it was enough to provide for the family of two. But then, out of nowhere, the owner of the little farmer's shop died, and he was left jobless.

He searched and searched for a job, but _no one_ wanted to take him, since he was a goat hybrid. 

He didn't give up though, he continued his search, but his savings started to run dry and the stress of it all caused him to relapse and now the money was dwindling away at a more significant rate.

Schlatt knew he was fuhked in the ass now.

He would cry himself to sleep, he _knew_ he couldn't provide for his daughter anymore, he _knew_ that he would probably never get a job with his stupid horns, in this city at least.

So he started to look for another way out. Since _he_ couldn't provide for Toby maybe _someone else_ could. Even though it felt like someone stabbed his abdomen anytime he thought about giving Toby away, it was the only way out. Schlatt wasn't stupid.

And he wasn't stupid not to notice the blond man who walked with his 3 adoptive sons through the small village like he owned the place. The kids were not thin, _which meant that they were fed well_ Schlatt noted, the guy looked happy around the three kids so he was most likely an okay dad. That was better than most father's in this village.

So the blond haired dad it is.

And so here Schlatt was, standing at the doorstep of his daughter's future dad's house at 3 in the morning.

Tears continued rolling down his face and down his neck as he looked at his daughter and imagined a better future, where he could've been able to give her the life he never had. A future where he saw his daughter go to kindergarten, saw her graduate, get married or something. But _no._

Life just finds away to fuhk shit up.

Schlatt cupped Toby's cheek and he pressed one final kiss to the girl's forehead as he gently set the box down. 

' Promise me, that when you grow up, you're gonna be happy, okay? Okay, Toby? Promise me, that you'll live the life you want, right? Right? Even though I wont be there to witness it, be happy, okay? ' tears rolled down his cheeks as he whispered ' you are literally 1 years old and you're sleeping so you cant hear or understand me, so this is ridiculous ' Schlatt chuckled ' but I hope that- that very smart brain of yours will somehow process the bullshit im spewing out ' tears mixed with rain fell onto the blanket ' I-I hope you wont hate me, Toby. Im sorry I have to do this, but it's for the best. You'll be with the dad who can give you the life you truly deserve. 

Goodbye, Toby. '


End file.
